なにものでもない

and maybe Takaaki Nagai is nothing.

　人はどのようにして作家になるのか？

　書くことによって。書き続けることによって。もっと言えば、書いているその最中だけ人は作家であると思います。朝の出勤前のわずかな時間、自分は作家になります。そうやって少しずつ、少しずつ、積み重なってきたものが形になります。その当時できる限りの努力で、それを洗練して作品に仕上げます。その時だけ私は作家になれると言えます。

 　書き上げるときには別に喜びもないのですが、それはそこに至るまでに半年から一年ほどそれに取りかかりきりになることも大きいと思います。何度目かの改稿が済んだ地点で、やっと終わった、という感覚が残るぐらいで、自分の場合、書き上げた小説はまず読み返しません。

　時々、自分のやっていることを、大理石磨きのように感じる事があります。自分は大理石を丁寧に、丁寧に、布で磨いて卵を作ろうとしている。そんな風にして時間と、手を掛けてつるんとした卵を作り続けるように。

　まだなにものでもないし、たぶん永井貴章はなにものでもない。

　これを読んでくれるあなたと、ここからはじまる。

When I was 20, I thought I would be a writer.

Someday my book will be published and will be lined up in bookstores. With a high level of self-consciousness, just like Licho "The Moon Over the Mountains". However, even if I write something that seems to be a novel and some works are accumulated, it will not be recognized anywhere and only my age will increase.

As usual, there was a time when I read many success stories to see if there were any hints. It seemed that many successful people had some sort of encounter, or seized the opportunity themselves, to open the way when they were finally cornered. It may be said that it is an ability, but it seems that I didn't have such a luck. There is no reply to the work and the outlook does not open.

Well, I guess there was no "chance". This is a common story.

That's it, I think it would be nice to look back now. At that time, what I wanted was not just my own expression, but my fame or social status. Words such as how to write a novel to sell and creative techniques to pass the examination seemed strange from that time, but I could not "really" look at the world or myself through the work. That's why I don't leave the work at that time outside.

The artistry in his twenties eventually became a member of society everywhere.

I checked the amount of my monthly salary and felt that the tax deducted was unsettling, but I was still happy with the summer and winter bonuses, and I got back to work from morning till evening with almost no sun in the afternoon. increase. Wearing a suit is a must, so wearing a tie is a must.

Well, how do people become writers?

By writing. By continuing to write. In other words, I think that a person is a writer only while writing. For a short time before going to work in the morning, I become a writer. In that way, little by little, little by little, what is piled up becomes a shape. At that time, I will do my best to refine it into a work. Only then can I be a writer.

I don't have any joy when I write it, but I think it's a big thing that it takes about half a year to a year to get there. At the point where the manuscript has been revised several times, I feel that it is finally over, and in my case, I rarely read back the novel I wrote.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm polishing marble. I'm trying to make eggs by politely and politely polishing the marble with a cloth. In that way, I have spent time and consciousness making smooth eggs.

It's nothing yet, and maybe Takaaki Nagai is nothing.

It starts here with you who read this.